On Italian food: Olive Garden versus the real thing

Antipasti platter including all sorts of interesting and non-American-palate-approved things

The Italians have the best food in the world.  A bold statement, I know.  But I'm going to stick by it.

But here's the thing about Italian food: it is way different than we Americans think it is.  When The Mister and I first ventured to Italy, on our honeymoon, we were looking at menus night after night thinking "WHERE IS THE SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS?"  We kind of just thought that restaurants in Italy would serve food like the Olive Garden or Macaroni Grill, only with better ingredients and fresher pasta.

But oh, we were wrong.

Here's a sample of things I have never seen on a restaurant menu in Italy:

Chicken parmesan

Actually I've never seen chicken paired with pasta in any capacity whatsoever

Shrimp scampi

Fettucine alfredo

Stuffed shells

Baked penne

Calamari or deep fried ravioli of any kind (okay, who didn't see that one coming?)

In Italy, the pasta is the first course, and your second, main course is a meat dish.  So pasta isn't even the biggest focus of the meal.  I know, I'll give you a second to pick yourself up of the floor.  I felt lied to.

So after our first time to Italy, in which we ordered pickily and ate good food despite ourselves, we girded up our loins.  This time we went in knowing what we were expecting (basically: not the American/Italian fusion food that we were used to), and we ordered bravely, and didn't have a bad meal the whole time we were in the country.

Here is a list of some of the things we ate on our recent trip. Every single one of them we'd order again:

Pappardelle (a wide, flat pasta) with wild boar ragu

Quail wrapped in bacon on a bed of kale

Pasta with goose bacon

All manner of patês and livers

Jellied figs, onions and eggplants

Cured meats and cheeses

Wild boar salami

Toast with lard

Gosh, it was good.  The Italians may have inflicted Mussolini, the Mafia, a lot of questionable fashion, and prime ministers with a thing for teenagers on the world, but damn these guys can cook!

Oh, and now we both totally have a thing for wild boar meat.  I wonder if those javelinas in the Arizona desert would taste good on a cracker?

P.S. I apologize to all vegetarians who had to read this post.

P.P.S. I love Olive Garden and always will.