On the finer points of olive picking

Here's what olive picking entails. First, go to some impossibly picturesque rural place where there are lots and lots of olive trees.



If it's a nice big tree, you spread a big net around the ground, set your feet in one place, and then start picking the olives in great big clumps, letting them fall on the net for later collection.  If it's a smaller tree, just pick them and put them in a bucket.  Get a partner, if possible, because then you can sing duets.



Repeat. Two hundred or so times. Oh, and don't be alarmed that they look like grapes. Exactly like grapes.  Don't taste them either - they aren't good yet. I know, because I tried one. Once you've collected a big bunch, you are ready for the next step.



Sorting! Time to get all the leaves and twigs outta there using a special slotted table.  Now is also a good time to a.) set aside really delicious-looking olives for eating straight, while the rest to into the pile for olive oil, and b.) singing duets (are you noticing a theme?)




Then roll them all down the table, which is kind of fun actually. Try to resist the urge to start an olive war with your fellow sorters.



Now, collect your filtered, sorted olives into big sacks. If at all possible, this should be accomplished while wearing the most ridiculous outfit you can get ahold of. It makes the olives taste better.



Now, go to the olive press and get liters and liters of buttery yellow, delicious olive oil. We missed out on that last part, because we had to leave just a few days before the olive press was available. But I heard that the olive oil from the olives we collected was top-grade.

I'm pretty sure that the olives just like being sung to.