Back by popular demand....
Lessons Learned:
1. Whatever's in the food is the food. Bugs, rocks...get over it. You asked for variety in your diet, right?
2. DEET is the new Chanel No. 5.
3. A white person speaking Kirundi is a cause for great mirth. Your very existence in this moment of your life is amusing.
4. Cleanliness is highly relative. Especially when you must plan your shower schedule around when the city delivers water to your neighborhood.
5. Buke, buke bukomeza igihonyi. Slowly, slowly the banana ripens. This wisdom is best applied to every facet of life.
6. Celine Dion cannot be escaped anywhere in the world.
7. White skin is abnormal and strange. Any mention of sunburn in particular is regarded as an occasion for extreme hilarity and inquiries as to your general hardiness as a human being.
8. Our collective western imagination is severely limited in envisioning the kinds of things that may be efficiently carried on a bicycle. Ditto the human head.
9. All Kenyans are related to Barack Obama, or have a story of how they are related to Barack Obama - no matter how fantastically exaggerated these connections are. In fact, if you would like to instigate immediate social suicide (for whatever reason), immediately stand up and announce that you are voting for John McCain. Then run and hide. But beware. They will sniff you out.
10. What side of the road do Africans drive on? The smoothest side.
11. Beware of Nigerian movies dubbed in Kirundi. They are of questionable cinematic merit. And the dubbers don't find it important to silence the original dialogue, so the two languages are simply blended together in what sounds like nonsensical babble.
12. "Pull my finger" does not have a direct translation into Kirundi. Enough said. No further inquiries please.
13. A "beauty saloon", unfortunately, does not have a bar inside.
14. When Africans start shrugging their shoulders and saying "ah well... T.I.A., This Is Africa", you know you are in trouble.
15. When you pick up a package at the post office, make sure you have cash on you. At home, this would be called "extortion". Here, it is called "mandatory reimbursement for delivery services rendered".
Lessons Learned:
1. Whatever's in the food is the food. Bugs, rocks...get over it. You asked for variety in your diet, right?
2. DEET is the new Chanel No. 5.
3. A white person speaking Kirundi is a cause for great mirth. Your very existence in this moment of your life is amusing.
4. Cleanliness is highly relative. Especially when you must plan your shower schedule around when the city delivers water to your neighborhood.
5. Buke, buke bukomeza igihonyi. Slowly, slowly the banana ripens. This wisdom is best applied to every facet of life.
6. Celine Dion cannot be escaped anywhere in the world.
7. White skin is abnormal and strange. Any mention of sunburn in particular is regarded as an occasion for extreme hilarity and inquiries as to your general hardiness as a human being.
8. Our collective western imagination is severely limited in envisioning the kinds of things that may be efficiently carried on a bicycle. Ditto the human head.
9. All Kenyans are related to Barack Obama, or have a story of how they are related to Barack Obama - no matter how fantastically exaggerated these connections are. In fact, if you would like to instigate immediate social suicide (for whatever reason), immediately stand up and announce that you are voting for John McCain. Then run and hide. But beware. They will sniff you out.
10. What side of the road do Africans drive on? The smoothest side.
11. Beware of Nigerian movies dubbed in Kirundi. They are of questionable cinematic merit. And the dubbers don't find it important to silence the original dialogue, so the two languages are simply blended together in what sounds like nonsensical babble.
12. "Pull my finger" does not have a direct translation into Kirundi. Enough said. No further inquiries please.
13. A "beauty saloon", unfortunately, does not have a bar inside.
14. When Africans start shrugging their shoulders and saying "ah well... T.I.A., This Is Africa", you know you are in trouble.
15. When you pick up a package at the post office, make sure you have cash on you. At home, this would be called "extortion". Here, it is called "mandatory reimbursement for delivery services rendered".
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