I´m going to go ahead and start with a disclaimer: if you are easily embarrassed by body part discussions, stop here.
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| Things were looking stormy from the outset, seeing as this was on the first page of the unit. Who ARE these textbook makers? And do they think the people actually in the classroom ought to keep a straight face? |
I knew it was going to be a fun day when I showed up to my fifth-grade science class and the other teacher opened the book to a new unit: Human Reproduction. I looked out at the students and they were already snickering at body part drawings in the book. Oh boy.
As if teaching basic here's-what-she's-got-here's-what-he's-got to a bunch of ten-year-olds isn´t hard enough, teaching them in another language opens up a whole new glitter box of mischief. I swear, you guys, I swear, that they had bonded together ahead of time and made a pact to pronounce all the most sensitive words incorrectly so that I was obligated to correct them.
"Pay-nees?" one sweet-cheeked little cherub asked, his face full of innocence.
"Penis," I enunciated, trying to act as casual as possible.
Then more:
Peh-nies?
PENIS.
Pie-nos?
OH FOR CRIPES SAKE IT´S A PENIS.
We repeated the process with breasts (bray-asts?) and vagina (va-hee-na?) and over and over again, them crowing gleefully with victory, me ruefully repeating funny words and knowing I´d been had. (I know some of you out there are thinking, for heaven´s sakes it´s only a body part, there´s nothing funny about the word penis. To this I would agree in principle and then suggest that you say it twenty times to a classroom full of ten-year-olds and then let me know how it goes.)
The final score was :
Devilishly clever fifth graders: infinity
Me: zilch.
Who can blame them though? I´ve been laughing ever since.
I can only imagine...Oh, what fun you have! You only have to say the word "underpants" to a ten year old, and it will have them in hysterics, so the body part discussion would definitely have them going. Even adults use cute-sy terms for reproductive organs, so I don't know why the kids can't have fun with it too. Thanks again for sharing one of your most memorable experiences!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, so awesome. I remember being tasked with that lesson last year. Although mine wasn't nearly as exciting. And is that drawing real?!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha that is great. I definitely have had to do reproduction units at school and it is really uncomfortable...but definitely not as bad as your experience! It also got super awkward when I had to explain to one of my private class students what a period was and why girls got it. The look on his face when he realized that the girls in his class were probably getting their periods was priceless!
ReplyDeleteSo the "cock" fertilizing the hen??? No pun intended??? I love it! Too funny!!!! Who ever thought of chickens!-YOur sister-in-law (Virg!)
ReplyDeleteThe copulating chickens were really the crowning glory. I can only assume that the textbook makers racked their brains for the least sexy animal in the universe, and they came up with those poor chickens. Tragicomic.
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