Sometimes (okay, often), R and I get asked when we plan on having kids. We usually just smile and politely say that we aren't sure, although it isn't anytime soon if things go our way. But I secretly start to hyperventilate a little bit.The thing that scares me about parenthood is that there are no previews. I like previews. I can decide whether I want to fully commit or not. The thing is, this parenting thing is pretty hard to get a good grasp on. Some people love being parents and you can see it in their faces and the way they talk about and interact with their kids. Then other equally cool people seem pretty depressed by the turn their life has taken and even though they of course love their kids, they give off this general air of desperation and "stuck"ness.
So the part that I'd like to know ahead of time is, which one will I be? I'm pretty optimistic usually, so I'd think I'd be in the A group. But does anybody ever really think they'll be in the B category? Of course not - or they wouldn't have produced offspring in the first place.
Scaaary!
(sung in high soprano)
You KNOW how much I love babies, and you KNOW that I think you and Ron would make great babies. But you also KNOW that you will KNOW when it's right to make said babies. So don't hyperventilate about it. Take a deep breath and just let it be.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Previews for parenting would be awesome! Then again, maybe not. I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteWhile I DO love being a parent, it definitely has turned out to be way better and way more difficult than I anticipated.
It seems like the people that can't stop gushing about how incredible parenthood is and how they love every single awesome, amazing second of it either:
A) Have plenty of outside help
B) Have babies with relatively easy temperaments who therefore
C) Sleep pretty well, therefore allowing mom & dad to still pursue some of their interests/shower on a regular basis. Or
D) All of the above.
Of course I am TOTALLY biased, but those are my observations 28 months into this gig. ;-)
You guys will be awesome parents when the time comes. I have no doubt!
Ok I am only two weeks into this parent thing so far I don't think it is so bad. It's mostly what I expected. I do hate that question though. Paul and I were asked regularly for years and we always said we don't know then after a few years of that we said in God's time and that seems to satisfy people pretty well just as a heads up. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy perspective is such: you're looking at this as an either/or, but I think (as other things we're finding) it's both/and. There are certainly times I've been in either the A or B category. And we have wonderful little ladies.
ReplyDeleteI think there are a lot of us peeps in the throws of child rearing. Talk to somebody that's past all this, who have kids are in college, and I imagine you'll get better rounded answers. Or maybe people with 8-11 year olds only. That seems like a good age (and there I've shown my bias).
As in movies, there are always ups and downs. There has to be drama, strife and struggle in order for you to CARE about the ending. And besides, you know previews sometimes ruin movies.
I guess it depends why you want to have children in the first place. If it is for self gratification then it probably isnt a great idea to have any. Great parenting is all about selflessness. A servants heart helps a ton.
ReplyDeleteThere are great times and hard times, kind of like marriage and we all know how well it turns out when people chose to "preview" marriage!
I love hearing your guy's journeys - all at different points in the road. What a good point, JMac - like most things in life, it probably won't be either entirely wonderful or entirely awful.
ReplyDeleteWhat brilliant and wise friends I have. (Go me!)