Ten things I hate about....well, just ten things I hate

The ground is marble and I do not like it because it's too slippery.

Someone told me recently that my blog is always cheerful and full of pretty pictures and I said, "you want grumpiness? I'll give you grumpiness!"

So, here we go.


Things I Do Not Like:

1. "Stinking" when used as an adjective. Example: "that is so stinking cute!" It sounds like: That is so cute in a smelly sort of way! That is cute in a reeking, dirty garbage sort of way! Oh my gosh, that cuteness reminds me of that pungent time we found a dead mouse in the attic! Blech.

2. Any sort of electronic reader. I like feeling paper and smelling ink and books and glue binding. I hate reading books electronically and I only do it out of necessity if no other options are available. You keep your Kindle, I'll keep my library card.

3. I do not like caffeine. It makes me shaky and jumpy and I feel easily distracted, like a chihuahua. That should be my own personal coffee tagline: Do not drink this Sarah, it will make you feel like a chihuahua.

4. Chocolate. I know. Controversial. But it just isn't that great.

5. Superhero movies. The Dark Knight bored me so much I wanted to fall asleep because surely my dream would be more entertaining. Iron Man made me feel like reading the phonebook isn't actually the pinnacle of blandness. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just don't get it.

6. Male falsettos. They just are so...shrill. Apologies to The Mister who has an unhealthy fondness for them.

7. Super competitive people. They think: I come across as strong and competent! We think: You come across as kind of an..... I think you know where this is going.

8. Picky eaters. Sorry, chickies, but there's a time and a place for things. The time for picky eating is in childhood, where hopefully your mother beat it out of you (not literally). Once you're grown, you're allowed like three or four things you really hate and really try to avoid, and then a few more things that aren't your favorite but that you will swallow manfully when in society--but you aren't allowed to dislike everything.

9. Politics as team sport. We don't have jerseys, the red team and the blue team. Your opinion is one of the few things in life that is entirely your own and that is much too valuable to relinquish. Something isn't a bad idea just because someone you don't like said it, and something isn't necessarily a good idea because someone you like said it. Take off the team jersey and think.

10. That one person that rhythmically clicks a ballpoint pen on and off in a quiet room. The person doing it is always blissfully clueless, and everyone else is imagining what it would feel like to have a black belt so they could take that guy down.